I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
