come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
