Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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