Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
