just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
