I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm eating all of the evidence.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
