I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
