Its about making memories worth repressing
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
