Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
