my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
