there was a trapeze. enough said
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize