when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
