i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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