i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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