So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize