As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
