Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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