so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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