I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My life is pants optional.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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