Dude my mom stole all your condoms
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
