I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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