Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
