U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
