If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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