i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
