The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
