bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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