it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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