Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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