I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
