He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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