last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
