The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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