I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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