im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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