I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
