oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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