One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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