he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
