so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
