I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
