suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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