did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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