That's intense
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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