kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
