Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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