I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
