just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
