Pants 0. Shit 1.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
