dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
