go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
