i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
