I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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