Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
