i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
