rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
