Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
