Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
