Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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